Learning how to date outside your type can open up new possibilities and help you find the love you’ve been looking for. Try these ways to get motivated, meet new people, and date outside the box.
Getting Motivated to Date Outside Your Type:
1. Evaluate your current dating patterns. If you want something different than your past relationships, change your thinking and develop new habits. Review the positive and negative aspects of your past love life so you can plan the future you want.
2. Establish priorities for what you’re looking for in a romantic relationship. Clarify your core values and aspirations to get a better idea of what really matters to you. Keep in mind that dating outside your type does not mean you have to sacrifice your beliefs or values.
3. Shorten your checklist. Even if your standards are sensible, it’s practical to keep your checklist for a prospective mate as short as possible. You’ll give yourself more options to choose from and avoid missing out on opportunities that might enrich your life.
Meeting New People Outside Your Type:
1. Visit some new places. If you want to meet a wider variety of people, put yourself in situations where you’ll run into them. Let friends know that you’d appreciate their help in broadening your horizons. Take advantage of events tied to your personal interests where you’re likely to meet people that enjoy the same things you do.
2. Reach out to people. Challenge yourself to start conversations with strangers and to welcome their efforts to get to know you. Look for ways to volunteer assistance or offer sincere compliments. Express an interest in your surroundings and in what other people are doing.
3. Replace your filter. Make yourself conscious of times when you’re screening someone out as a potential date. Are you screening them out for good reasons, or are you falling into old habits that hold you back? For example, if you automatically reject anyone under 6 feet tall, give yourself a few minutes to form a more balanced set of expectations. The results may surprise you.
4. Cultivate a positive attitude. Focus on the pleasant aspects of any situation. You’ll feel more encouraged and project a more approachable demeanor.
Dating People Outside Your Type:
1. Assess your efforts. When you start dating people outside your old comfort zone, reassure yourself by staying in touch with how you really feel. If you feel happy and notice positive changes in your behavior, you’re probably on the right track.
2. Examine the reaction from your family and friends. If the people who love you are used to seeing you with extroverted corporate executives, they may be surprised if you show up with a quiet history professor. Respect their advice but make up your own mind about what you want in a relationship.
3. Appreciate the learning process. Every experience is worthwhile if you learn from it and treat other people the way you would want to be treated. Even if it takes a while to find the partner you deserve, you can feel good about all the incremental steps you’re taking to improve your life.
By dating outside your type, you just might liberate yourself from old ways of thinking that get in the way of finding the kind of relationship you want. Challenge yourself to be open to new opportunities. After all, you may find the love you desire where you least expect it!
